Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
