using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't deserve a penis
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
