Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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