just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
