i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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