Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize