Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
