What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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