He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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