This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
