For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
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I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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