All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
