never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
