Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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