I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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