I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
