Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
