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Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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