had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
