I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.