Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.