i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween