it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and she was petting her beer can
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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