I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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