Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Porn is love you can see.
If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
