the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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