Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize