R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
