god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
