but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
