It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize