maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
