I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
