i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize