He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I love you. Go after that dick
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