I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
