dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
did i walk over a car last night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
