If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
