don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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