Having a random hookup so left but love u
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
