I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
