im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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