I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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