If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
