My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
