he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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