does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
