he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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