Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
