Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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