Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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