then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
