ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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