Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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