Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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