Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
