Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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