I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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