If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
