Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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