Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize