Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize