She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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