ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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