I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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