is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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