I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize