A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I still have a little drunk in my system
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
